Hon Waliuba's six ways to overcome self doubt

Six ways to overcome self doubt

1. Fake it.

Now, I believe in authenticity. However, if you take it so far as to reveal every fear or sign of self-doubt, you will undermine yourself. Displaying confidence matters.

No matter how you may feel on a given day, believe that you are a professional with a contribution to make. You may be the youngest, the least experienced or different than others in the room. Carry on and believe that you are there for a reason. And it’s not to get everyone else’s approval—it’s to contribute.

2. Change your thoughts.

Change your thoughts and you change your world—it’s true. Thoughts control how you feel, and your feelings control your actions. Internalizing and acting on this simple concept is the most fundamental change you can make today.

If you want to feel strong and confident, thoughts like Do I belong? Do I know enough? and What if I don’t sound smart enough? must be left behind.

Stay laser focused on the contribution you want to make.

3. Don’t use language that undermines you.

There are words and phrases that unintentionally minimize and diminish you—and they have to go. Remove words like these from your vocabulary:

• “Just"—I just wanted to ask you about that report
• “Sorry”—Sorry to bother you, but…
• “Not sure”—I’m not sure if this is a good idea or not, but…

4. Find the triggers that trip you up.

Think about situations when you have lost your confidence. Was there a common trigger? It could be things like being interrupted, being rushed before a meeting or making a suggestion that is ignored.

What causes you to shut down or feel inadequate? If you know your triggers you can de-personalize them and have a strategy for recovering quickly.

5. Stop aiming for perfect.

Perfect keeps you from jumping into the conversation, trying something new and stepping out. So aim for excellence, but scrap perfect. A search for perfection will keep you one step behind where and what you should be—because you will never get there. And then comes self-doubt.

Again, focus on the contribution you want to make—not your own internal report card.

6. Know this: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

This quote by Eleanor Roosevelt is very essential for the times that we feel inadequate or full of self-doubt.

Others will treat you as you expect to be treated. We make the decision to give our power away. And we often give it away to others and end up been treated wrong. Don’t do it.

Self-doubt is complicated, a problem without an easy answer. You have to solve it for yourself—no one can do it for you. So take control of your head, get out of your own way and believe that you deserve to be at the party.