Humour...mwalimu andrew

Addicted to WhatsApp and I love it

“How does one apply for a group to be formed and how much does it cost to form a group?” I asked, eager to form one for teacher. This will help me pass information quickly as opposed to calling or sending SMSes to every teacher.
“How does one apply for a group to be formed and how much does it cost to form a group?” I asked, eager to form one for teacher. This will help me pass information quickly as opposed to calling or sending SMSes to evry tacher
    “I have an old phone I have been using for some time and I bought a new one, can you take the old one?” he asked me. I eagerly accepted, as I have longed to have a screen touch phone for long.
    Luckily, the phone was fully charged when it was given to  me. I slept very late that night, I was on the phone learning it until around midnight when it ‘died’.  I took the phone to school first thing the next morning to charge it.
    “Let me add you to some groups,” Pius added me to a group called “Family” where there was him, my brother Ford, sister Yunia and the information minister herself Caro. They were so happy to see me and welcomed me warmly

As you already know, my brother Pius and I practice a cold and hot relationship. At one time we are bosom friends doing our stuff together but on other times, we are sworn enemies, not hearing ear to ear. Following the debacle of land in April, Pius and I have not been on talking terms. What was there to speak with a land grabber like Pius?

Soon after planting, he left for Nairobi almost immediately. As you have already heard on radio, it has been raining cats and dogs here and as such, the weeds have been competing with the maize. I told my mother to talk to Pius when she came to me for help.

Luckily for her, Pius arrived home the other Friday. He arrived early afternoon and came to see me at school. We sat in my office long after everyone had left. Pius knew exactly what I needed. From school, he took me to Cosmos. And knowing that I had no wife around to prepare supper for me, Pius top dressed the drink with a kilo of nyama fry.

By the time we were leaving Cosmos, I had already accepted to find people to weed the farm for him and come last Saturday, I supervised the job as if it was mine. Pius was very happy when he returned to find work completed. He come to my house that evening to thank me.

“I have an old phone I have been using for some time and I bought a new one, can you take the old one?” he asked me. I eagerly accepted, as I have longed to have a screen touch phone for long.

“The only problem is the battery,” he said. “Inakula moto sana.”

Luckily, the phone was fully charged when it was given to  me. I slept very late that night, I was on the phone learning it until around midnight when it ‘died’.  I took the phone to school first thing the next morning to charge it.

“Why can’t I see you on What is up and I gave you a good phone?” Pius asked me.

“What is that?” I asked.

DIGITAL DRE

“Let me install it for you,” he said. He took the phone and performed some magic with it, only asking me details such as email address among others. “Now you have WhatsApp,” he said, showing me the icon.

“What is it for?” I asked, although I had heard Nzomo and Kuya talk about it.

“It is just like SMS but very good,” he added. “It is very easy to use,” he said laughingly after I asked him for a manual. He then took me through a quick lesson on how to use the service. It was very easy to use and Pius and I exchanged messages and photos very easily.

“Let me add you to some groups,” Pius added me to a group called “Family” where there was him, my brother Ford, sister Yunia and the information minister herself Caro. They were so happy to see me and welcomed me warmly.

“Finally Dre is Digital,” typed Caro. “Welcome bro.”

Within minutes everyone else had written something and shared photos, except Yunia. My phone permanently indicated that Yunia was typing…. It was like I was with Caro as she shared photos of her baby and husband. Pius also shared photos of his maize and bragged to all what a great farmer he was. It was now clear to me why whenever Pius was around, things happening at home always reached Caro and Ford within minutes.
There is a group of former students of Mwisho wa Lami,” said Pius. “Can I add you?” he asked me. I quickly agreed. And I received a notification that I had been added to Mwisho wa Lami Old students. There were quite a good number of former students and they welcomed me warmly, happy that one of their own was a teacher at their former school. People kept typing and sending messages on this group and as such my phone kept ringing. There were all manner of discussions, from those sharing jokes to those trying to sell something to us.

“Do you have any other good group that you can add me?” I asked Pius.

“No, the rest are work WhatsApp groups,” he said, showing me severally groups.

“Where I work we do everything on WhatsApp and our managers give instructions on WhatsApp,” he took me through several and I was surprised to see how even meetings were called or done on WhatsApp. All through, I was really thinking of how I could implement the same at Mwisho wa Lami.

“How does one apply for a group to be formed and how much does it cost to form a group?” I asked, eager to form one for teacher. This will help me pass information quickly as opposed to calling or sending SMSes to every teacher.

PLAYING CATCH UP

Pius laughed out loudly. “No, you don’t pay anything,” he said. “It is so easy, let me show you.” He helped me to create a group called Mwisho wa Lami Staffroom and we started adding members. We managed to add Nzomo, Kuya (who returned last week); Lena, Sella and Madam Ruth. We could not add Mrs. Atika, Erick and Anita. Pius told me that their phones did not have WhatsApp. Bensouda’s phone had WhatsApp but I was not sure if it was wise to add her or not.

Within minutes, the group was on fire. Kuya and Nzomo started sharing funny photos and videos. One of them was quite funny and I really laughed. Pius, however, told me that he had already seen all those photos. He forwarded me some really funny ones which I also forwarded to the staffroom group.

Sella and Nzomo really enjoyed them but Kuya seemed unhappy that I was beating him in forwarding funny clips. The noise and laughter on the staffroom group ended when I announced to the group that we would have a staff meeting the next day at 10 am. Only Nzomo responded, but with faces whose meaning I did not understand.

In the meantime, the former Mwisho wa Lami students group was extremely active. One of the students, an insurer working in Nairobi, had written and said he didn’t find anything serious in the group and that he wanted to know the agenda of the group. People kept writing and I was glued, reading everything. I was shocked to realise that it was already 8pm

“What does this group seek to achieve?” he typed. “All I see here are stupid and vulgar jokes and nothing serious.”

People hit back. “We are all here for fun,” typed my brother Ford. “Kama unataka seriousness enda job. I am happy to interact with people I last saw many years ago.”  More people supported Ford.

Outside the group, Catherine, Branton’s’ mother had started chatting with me, and had even sent me a photo of herself after I shared with her a photo of Branton. Chatting on WhatsApp was better than SMS. I remain glued on the phone every time I read “Catherine typing…”

Ford made the situation worse on the old students group when he sent a photo of a semi-naked woman. The insurer was livid. “We are not your age mates Ford, can you respect this group?” he wrote. Others supported Ford. I actually liked the photo.

Before I could read further responses, the phone died. I hadn’t even read a message from Catherine. It was 9 pm. I could not wait until the next day so I go to school to charge the phone and keep chatting. I was in school until midnight; charging and chatting with Catherine and also on the other groups.

I returned home at midnight when the phone was fully charged, and kept chatting in bed until sleep overpowered me. For those wondering why I have been seen in school late at night everyday, now you know. I have missed so much by not been on WhatsApp that I must compensate!